Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
