I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
