so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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