I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
