you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
