How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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