yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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