She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
