I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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