its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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