Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm jealous of your bromance
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
