I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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