Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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