How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
