That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
