i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
