Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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