She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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