I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize