we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
