I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
