when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
