Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
