is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize