Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize