I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
