I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
