Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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