he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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