We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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