Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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