saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
