I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
