Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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