This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
