Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am one with the molecules
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
