So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
