Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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