woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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