I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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