u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My liver just had a heart attack.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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