he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
