What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize