ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
