But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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