I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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