marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
