drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
