oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The air taste purple.
Randomize
