did you get engaged???
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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