Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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