i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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