no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
