They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
