Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
