just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
