Fuck appropriateness.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
