I love watching others lives come down to our level.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
