Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
