I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
